Second relationship later in life: planning together when there's already a lot to think about
A second relationship later in life is different to a first one. By the time you meet, you each bring a life. There are usually homes, savings, pensions, sometimes a business. There may be children from a previous relationship, an ex-partner who still features in family life, parents getting older and a sense of what you'd like to do next together.
That isn't a problem to solve. It's just the shape of things. But it does mean there's more to think through when you decide to live together and more reason to put what you've agreed into writing.
We've partnered with amicable to walk you through what tends to come up for couples in this position and how a cohabitation agreement fits alongside the will you already have or are putting in place.
Start with a conversation
amicable's free 15-minute consultation is a warm, no-pressure chat with a Specialist about what would work for you both. The easiest place to begin.
Book a free 15-minute consultation
What's already in the mix
When you start again with someone, there's usually more to bring into the conversation than the first time round. Most couples have a version of this list:
- A home each, or one of you has a home and the other is moving in
- Savings, pensions or investments built up over time
- Children from a previous relationship, sometimes adult, sometimes still at home
- Existing wills that might still name an ex or pre-date this relationship
- Family expectations (yours, theirs, sometimes a sense of what your children would want)
- A previous experience of separation or bereavement, with a clearer sense of what you'd like to do differently this time
None of it stops you building a life together. But it does mean a few sensible conversations make everything easier.
Marriage or not
Plenty of couples in a second relationship don't want to marry again and there are good reasons for that. You might want to keep things separate for your children. You might already have a clear sense of how you'd like to share your life without changing the legal position of what you've each built up. Or it might just feel right to not.
That's an entirely reasonable choice. But it does mean the legal default is different to if you'd married. Unmarried couples in England and Wales don't have the automatic legal position that married couples do, in life or in death. A cohabitation agreement is the way to record what you've both agreed, so you have the framework you want without the wedding.
Not sure what you need yet? Talk it through
A Living Together Planning Session is a 60-minute joint conversation with an amicable Specialist that walks you through everything you might want to think about: money, the home, day-to-day life. £210 for the couple, including VAT. No agreement at the end, just a clear plan.
Book a free 15-minute consultation
What a cohabitation agreement covers
A cohabitation agreement is a written record of what you've both agreed about money, the home and day-to-day life. For a second relationship later in life, it tends to cover:
- Whose home you're living in, who contributes what to running it and what happens if you separate
- Existing savings and assets you each brought into the relationship and how they're treated
- Bills, mortgage or rent, shared expenses and how they're split
- Any contributions to renovations or improvements on a home one of you owns
- How decisions get made about big purchases or moving somewhere new together
- How to handle a shift in income or a new joint asset
It's tailored to your situation. amicable's Cohabitation Agreement Service is £800 for the couple, including VAT. The agreement is drafted by qualified family law solicitors who partner with amicable, usually ready in one to two weeks.
Put what you've agreed in writing
Our Cohabitation Agreement Service is a legally drafted agreement covering money, the home and day-to-day life. £800 for the couple, including VAT.
Find out more about the Cohabitation Agreement Service
How it sits with your will
If you've already updated your will to reflect this relationship, you've covered what happens after. A cohabitation agreement covers what happens while you're both alive.
They work together. Some couples find writing them around the same time helps. The conversations overlap and it's easier to think about the whole picture in one go than in pieces. Octopus Legacy can help with the will, amicable helps with the cohabitation agreement and either order works.
If you haven't updated your will yet, that's worth doing first. An out-of-date will is one of the more common gaps for people in a new relationship later in life.
The conversation that makes everything easier
For most couples, the hardest part isn't the paperwork. It's the conversation. Especially when there's history, children, money and family on the table at the same time.
A Living Together Planning Session is structured for exactly this. It's a 60-minute joint conversation with an amicable Specialist who helps you both work through what matters to you, calmly and in plain English. There's no agreement at the end. Just a clear sense of what you've talked about and what (if anything) you'd like to formalise next.
Lots of couples use it as the starting point and then decide whether the Cohabitation Agreement Service is the right next step.
FAQs
Do we need a cohabitation agreement if we're not planning to marry?
If you're living together long-term, especially with assets, children from previous relationships or a home one of you brought into the relationship, a cohabitation agreement is the simplest way to record what you've both agreed. Unmarried couples in England and Wales don't have the automatic legal position married couples have. The agreement closes that gap.
Can a cohabitation agreement protect children from a previous relationship?
It can record what you've both agreed about how your assets are treated, which complements your will. Your will is what makes sure things go where you want them to after you die. The cohabitation agreement records how things work between the two of you while you're both alive. Together, they give you the full picture.
Should we update our wills if we're starting a new relationship?
Yes. Existing wills often still name an ex or pre-date the new relationship. An out-of-date will is one of the most common gaps for people in a new relationship later in life. Octopus Legacy can help you update yours.
How is a cohabitation agreement different from a declaration of trust?
A declaration of trust (sometimes called a deed of trust) records how a property is owned. Specifically, what share each person holds. It's a snapshot, fixed at the point you buy. A cohabitation agreement is broader and more forward-looking, covering money, bills, savings, shared purchases and how things work over time. Many couples use both.
How long does a cohabitation agreement take to put in place?
Usually one to two weeks from when amicable has the information needed. The process is: a simple online financial disclosure you complete together, a 30-minute review with a Specialist, then a legally drafted agreement tailored to you.
What if our situation changes after we've signed?
Cohabitation agreements can be reviewed and updated. If something significant changes (a move, a new joint asset, a shift in income or contributions), it's worth coming back to the agreement so it still reflects where you are. amicable can support a review.
