Questions to Ask Your Mum About Her Life
New research from Octopus Legacy found that 4 in 5 of us don't know a lot about our mum's life before we were born. And yet more than half of us wish we knew her better, not just as our parent, but as a person.
Most of us never quite get around to asking. Not because we don't want to. Just because life gets in the way, and there always seems to be more time.
If you're lucky enough to still have your mum around, Mother's Day is a good excuse to change that. Below are 23 questions to ask your mum about her life, the woman she was before you came along, the things she's learned, and the stories she's never quite found the moment to tell.
Some are light. Some go a little deeper. All of them open a door.
Questions to ask your mum about who she was
Before she was your mum, she had a whole life. These questions are a way into that story.
- When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?
- How would you have described yourself as a teenager?
- Tell me about your first love.
- How would you describe your parents, what were they really like?
- Who has shaped you the most, in ways you still notice today?
Deep questions to ask your mum about life and what she knows
The best conversations often start here, with what she's learned, and what she wishes she'd known sooner.
- What advice would you give your younger self?
- Which life lessons do you wish you'd learned earlier?
- What do you worry about less and less as you get older?
- If you were telling someone what really matters in life, what would you say first?
- Whose words of advice do you trust the most?
Questions to ask your mum about how she feels
These are the questions most of us never think to ask, and the ones she might most want to answer.
- What's an ambition you have that you've never said out loud?
- What don't you say enough, that you wish you said more?
- What's a moment in your life you'll never forget
- What has been your proudest moment?
Questions to ask your mum about what she loves
Lighter, but no less revealing. These are the questions that remind you she's a person, not just a parent.
- What are your favourite memories from your childhood?
- If you could relive one memory, what would it be?
- What's the best gift you've ever received?
- If you could have a lifetime's supply of one thing, what would you choose?
- What song would you choose as the soundtrack to your life?
- If you had to choose one quote to live by, what would it be?
Questions to ask your mum about the future
- If you had one wish for the future, what would it be?
- If you could give any gift, big or small, what would it be, and to who?
- If you were cast away to a desert island, what luxury item would you take with you?
Why these questions matter
Most of us assume we'll always have more time. Another Sunday lunch. Another phone call. Another chance to ask the question we keep meaning to ask.
But our mums' stories, the full ones, the ones from before us, don't stay forever. At Octopus Legacy, we help people have the conversations they keep putting off. Not just the practical ones, but the ones that really matter. The who were you before me? ones.
Ask one question today. See where it goes.
