Advice Grief, Loss & Bereavement How to support someone grieving on Father's Day

How to support someone grieving on Father's Day

How to show your love for a friend who is grieving

Whether your friend, colleague, family member or partner is grieving the loss of a Dad or Father figure, or grieving the fact that being a Dad has been taken away from them, here are some simple things that you can do to let them know you’re there for them, and to make a dark day that little bit brighter.

How to help someone grieving this Father's Day

TIP 1: Start the day acknowledging that you know today may be tough

"Knowing that you’re thinking about them really does help."

From Carys Worsdale.

Birth doula and hypnobirthing expert Carys lost her Mum when she was 11 and her Dad twelve years later. Carys has written about the difficulty of grief during another landmark date - Christmas here.

TIP 2: Send them a text

"I’d simply send a text saying ‘I’m thinking of you today’ - it's a tiny thing, but knowing that you’re being held in someone’s thoughts can be really comforting. It also offers them an opening if they want to chat more…”

From Emily Bevan.

Actor Emily has talked openly about the destabilising grief of losing her Dad in 2014. Hear more of her story in her Mother of All Lists on Losing a Parent and her podcast recording on Griefcast here.

TIP 3: Take the lead from them on how they would like to mark - or sometimes not mark - the day

“Try not to make assumptions about how they feel, even if you know them very well - it’s rarely linear and a day that might be extremely painful one year could be gentler the next. A simple ‘how are you doing?’ is always lovely and it means they know you are thinking about them."

From Georgina Lucas.

Author Georgina has written about the love and pain she and her husband Mike experienced after losing her baby boy, Grey when he was only three weeks old. Georgina went on to write a beautiful memoir If Not For You and you can also listen to her talking more about her experience on the Grief Gang podcast here.

TIP 4: Ask people about their dad

“It’s special to think of your friends on Father’s Day who’ve lost their dad. But I personally think it’s profound to ask them who their dad was. Helping them to honour their memory really is a gift that I can’t quite explain.”

From Tiera.

Tiera writes about her experience of losing her Dad to cancer in 2020 to help others dealing with similar experiences.

“Ask me about his interests. Ask me about his passions and ask me what traits I have inherited from him. I still adore talking about him like that; almost like he is still alive for those few seconds and I supposed in many ways, that is how he lives on.”

From Megan Ace

Interior Designer Megan had a complex relationship with her father who battled drug and alcohol addiction throughout her life until he died on the same day as her son was born. Megan has shared her experience in this beautiful open letter to her father here.

TIP 5: Make their father part of the day

"Ask questions, sharing nice memories, even a cheers across the table. Because they will be thinking about them all day and you can help not feel so alone in their thoughts”

From Carys Worsdale

Birth doula and hypnobirthing expert Carys lost her Mum when she was 11 and her Dad twelve years later. Carys has written about the difficulty of grief during another landmark date - Christmas here.

TIP 6: There is power in silence

“If you know they are struggling just be there, but don’t force a conversation.”

From Sam Grice, CEO and Founder of Octopus Legacy

Sam's Mum died suddenly in a car crash in 2016, his Dad was injured in the same accident. He started Octopus Legacy to try and and make the experience of loss easier for those left behind. Octopus Legacy makes planning for and through death quicker, easier and headache-free.