Human Cost of Dying Report
Published by Octopus Legacy
Last updated: 27 March 2026
The Human Cost of Dying Report
The Human Cost of Dying Report is original research by Octopus Legacy exploring the real human impact of losing someone you love. While much has been written about the financial cost of death (notably in SunLife's annual Cost of Dying Report), very little research has looked at the emotional, practical, and personal toll of loss in a holistic sense. This report fills that gap.
Octopus Legacy was founded after Sam Grice lost his Mum suddenly in a car accident in 2016. The hardest part wasn't the financial fallout or the work that came with it. It was what he missed: her laugh, her check-in texts, the sound of her voice. A small 20-second clip of her voice became the song he played more than any other on Spotify. Her last message to him became the thing he read more times than he could count. That experience shaped this research and everything Octopus Legacy does.
The findings below are drawn from a nationally representative survey of 2,000 UK adults, conducted by Censuswide between 11 and 15 October 2024.
Download the full Human Cost of Dying Report (PDF)
Key findings at a glance
| Finding | Statistic |
|---|---|
| People who have experienced the loss of someone close to them | 91% |
| Of those, people who took on the administrative burden of dealing with the death | 64% |
| People who said dealing with grief was the hardest part of loss | 55% |
| People who miss the person's presence most | 57% |
| People who miss the person's voice most | 31% |
| People who said the best gift left behind had no monetary value | 74% |
| People who said these non-monetary gifts helped them process grief | 86% |
| People who wished they had more photos of the person who died | 44% |
| Friends rated as the most helpful support after a death | 84% |
| HMRC rated as the least helpful organisation after a death | 58% helpful / 42% unhelpful |
| People who haven't put any thought into their own plan for when they die | 39% |
| Of those who'd experienced loss, people who wanted to take proactive steps to plan | 84% |
Loss is universal
91% of people surveyed had experienced the death of someone close to them. Death touches almost everyone, and its impact goes far beyond the moment of loss itself.
The most common losses were a grandparent (62%), a parent (52%), an aunt or uncle (45%), and a friend (38%). Fewer but still significant numbers had lost a sibling (16%), a child (8%), or a partner or spouse (2%). Only 9% of respondents said no one close to them had died.
For the majority of those who had experienced loss, 64% were also responsible for taking on the administrative burden that follows a death. This includes organising the funeral (44%), registering the death (36%), clearing or selling the person's home (33%), and closing down accounts (30%). For many, this administrative load arrives at the worst possible time, when grief is at its most acute.
Dealing with grief is the hardest part
When asked about the different challenges of losing someone, respondents consistently rated the emotional weight of loss as significantly harder than any practical, financial, or administrative challenge.
55% said dealing with grief was the hardest part. This was followed by planning the funeral (27%), dealing with physical symptoms of grief such as not sleeping or eating (20%), managing the administrative process (16%), navigating socialising (16%), navigating mental health implications (14%), dealing with financial worries (12%), managing work alongside grief (12%), and fulfilling care obligations (9%).
| Challenge | Percentage | Type |
|---|---|---|
| Dealing with grief | 55% | Emotional |
| Planning the funeral | 27% | Practical |
| Physical symptoms (not sleeping, not eating) | 20% | Emotional |
| Nothing in particular | 16% | — |
| Managing the admin process | 16% | Practical |
| Navigating socialising | 16% | Emotional |
| Navigating mental health implications | 14% | Emotional |
| Dealing with financial worries | 12% | Practical |
| Managing work | 12% | Practical |
| Fulfilling care obligations | 9% | Practical |
The practical side of death, dealing with paperwork, paying for a funeral, managing probate, is often talked about. But the emotional reality of losing someone you love is the part that hits hardest. It's the grief that wakes you up at 3am, the empty chair at the dinner table, the phone call you can no longer make.
This finding underlines why bereavement support matters as much as practical support. Organisations that help families after a death need to address both.
It's the simple everyday things we miss the most
When asked what they missed most about the person who died, respondents didn't talk about money, possessions, or practical support. They talked about presence.
57% said they missed the person's presence most. Simply being in the same room, knowing they were there, having someone to sit with in silence.
31% said they missed the person's voice. The sound of someone you love is one of the first things to fade from memory, and one of the things people grieve most deeply.
26% said they missed the person's advice and wisdom. The person who always knew what to say, who had lived through it before, who could help you see things clearly.
Beyond these, 25% missed the person's smile, 25% missed their emotional support, 22% missed their laugh, and 16% missed their practical support. Even sensory memories featured: 11% missed the food they made, and 7% missed their smell. Only 8% said they didn't miss anything in particular.
| What people miss most | Percentage |
|---|---|
| Their presence | 57% |
| Their voice | 31% |
| Their advice and wisdom | 26% |
| Their smile | 25% |
| Their emotional support | 25% |
| Their laugh | 22% |
| Their practical support | 16% |
| The food they made | 11% |
| Nothing in particular | 8% |
| Their smell | 7% |
These findings suggest that what we value most about the people we love isn't what they give us materially but who they are. Their presence, their voice, their perspective.
If you had one more day
When asked what they would do if they had one more day with the person who died, the most common response was simply to talk. People said they would ask about their life, ask for their advice, and tell them how much they loved them.
The vast majority of answers weren't anything big, expensive, or bucket-list-worthy. They were the everyday moments at home, or in each other's company, that people missed the most. Sit and listen. Watch TV and laugh. Hang out together and talk. Ask about family history. Ask about their past. Give them a hug and thank them for everything. Cherish them for every second.
What you leave behind matters, and it's not about money
One of the most striking findings of the report is about what people treasure most after someone dies.
74% of respondents said the best gift the person who died had left them was something with no monetary value. The most common answers were memories, photographs, letters, wisdom, kindness, love, humour, and faith.
And these gifts aren't just sentimental keepsakes. 86% of people who had been left something by the person who died said it helped them process their grief. A handwritten letter, a photograph from a holiday, a voice recording, a recipe in their handwriting. These are the things that keep the connection alive and help people navigate the long, nonlinear process of grieving.
What people wish they had more of
When asked what item they'd value most and wish they had, 44% said photographs. This was followed by video (16%) and a handwritten note (10%).
This has practical implications for anyone thinking about their own legacy. Writing down memories, recording your voice, keeping photographs organised, and telling the people you love what they mean to you are some of the most valuable things you can do. It costs nothing, and it can mean everything.
Who helps most (and least) after a death
The report asked respondents about who helped them most, and who helped them least, after losing someone.
Friends (84%) and family (83%) were rated the most helpful. The people who show up, bring food, listen without trying to fix things, and simply stay present. The Registry Office (76%) and healthcare professionals (71%) were also rated positively by the majority of respondents.
In comparison, the helpfulness of official channels dropped significantly. HMRC and other government agencies were voted the least helpful at just 58% helpful (42% unhelpful). They were followed by utility providers (60% helpful), the Probate Office (61%), banks (65%), and lawyers and solicitors (67%). Even employers, while generally rated positively (70%), still left nearly a third of people feeling unsupported.
| Person or organisation | Helpful | Unhelpful |
|---|---|---|
| Friends | 84% | 16% |
| Family members | 83% | 17% |
| Registry Office | 76% | 24% |
| Healthcare professionals | 71% | 29% |
| Employer or colleagues | 70% | 30% |
| Lawyers and solicitors | 67% | 33% |
| Banks | 65% | 35% |
| Probate Office | 61% | 39% |
| Utility providers | 60% | 40% |
| HMRC and other government agencies | 58% | 42% |
This gap between the personal support people receive from friends and family and the institutional experience of dealing with government agencies and service providers highlights the need for better bereavement services and simpler processes for families dealing with a death.
Most people want to plan, but many haven't started
Despite the near-universal experience of loss, 39% of all respondents hadn't put any thought into their own plan for when they die. This figure skyrockets for people who have never experienced the death of someone close to them, reaching 61%, which suggests the experience of loss makes us more likely to plan for our own death.
Among those who had experienced loss, the picture was more positive. 64% had put a practical plan in place, compared to just 36% of those who had never lost someone close. And when prompted, 84% of people who'd experienced loss said they wanted to take proactive steps to plan ahead, whether that meant communicating their wishes clearly (25%), having important conversations ahead of time (18%), sharing emotional mementos to stay connected after they're gone (17%), or putting practical plans in place (17%).
The sandwich generation is least likely to plan
The age group most likely to have not made any form of plan is 45 to 54-year-olds, at 51%. This is significantly higher than even the youngest age group of 16 to 24-year-olds (41%). It may reflect the fact that this age group is the "sandwich generation," simultaneously caring for ageing parents and children, juggling competing priorities and demands. Those aged 55 and over were the most likely to have a plan (65%).
| Age group | Have a plan |
|---|---|
| 16–24 | 59% |
| 25–34 | 64% |
| 35–44 | 64% |
| 45–54 | 49% |
| 55+ | 65% |
What's holding people back?
Of those who hadn't planned, 34% said nothing in particular was holding them back. They simply hadn't done it. Not because it was too expensive, too complicated, or too upsetting, but because they just hadn't got around to it. A further 14% said it's too emotional, while 13% weren't sure where to start or didn't feel they needed it yet.
What people are planning (and what they're not)
Of those who have put thought into their plan, the most common actions are writing a will (43%) and sharing funeral wishes (37%). But despite the report's findings about the value of personal mementos, very few people have taken steps like leaving notes or messages (15%) or sharing video recordings or voice notes (8%).
This is a significant gap. The data shows that memories, photographs, letters, and voice recordings are among the most valued things a person can leave behind, and actively help with grief, yet barely anyone is doing it.
What this means for families
The Human Cost of Dying Report challenges us to think about death differently. Not just as a financial event (how much does a funeral cost, what's the inheritance tax bill) but as a deeply human one.
If you're reading this and thinking about what you can do, here are some starting points.
Write a will. It's the most practical thing you can do to make life easier for the people you leave behind. 43% of people who've planned have started with a will. It doesn't need to be complicated or expensive.
Set up a Lasting Power of Attorney. If you lose mental capacity, your family needs legal authority to act on your behalf. Without an LPA, they'll need to go through the courts.
Record what matters. Write letters. Organise your photos. Record your voice telling a story. 44% of bereaved people wished they had more photos. 86% said non-monetary gifts helped them process grief. These things have more value than almost anything else you can leave behind.
Talk about death. 34% of people who haven't planned said nothing was holding them back. Sometimes all it takes is a conversation to turn intention into action. Octopus Legacy exists to make that conversation easier.
About the research
The Human Cost of Dying Report is published by Octopus Legacy, a death planning and bereavement support service that helps people write wills, set up Lasting Powers of Attorney, and navigate probate and estate administration. Since it was founded, Octopus Legacy has helped over 400,000 people plan for death and find support after a loss.
The research was conducted by Censuswide, surveying 2,000 nationally representative people between 11 and 15 October 2024. Censuswide abides by and employs members of the Market Research Society and follows the MRS Code of Conduct and ESOMAR Principles. Censuswide is also a member of the British Polling Council.
Download the full Human Cost of Dying Report (PDF)
How to cite this report
When referencing data from this report, please use the following citation:
Octopus Legacy (2024). The Human Cost of Dying Report. Available at: octopuslegacy.com/advice/2024-human-cost-of-dying-report
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the Human Cost of Dying Report?
The Human Cost of Dying Report is original research published by Octopus Legacy exploring the emotional, practical, and personal impact of losing someone you love. It's based on a nationally representative survey of 2,000 UK adults conducted by Censuswide between 11 and 15 October 2024. The report covers the administrative burden of death, what people miss most about the person who died, the role of non-monetary gifts in grief, who helps most and least after a death, and how many people have planned for their own death.
What percentage of people have experienced the loss of someone close?
91% of people surveyed in the Human Cost of Dying Report had experienced the loss of someone close to them. The most common losses were a grandparent (62%), a parent (52%), an aunt or uncle (45%), and a friend (38%). Of those who had experienced loss, 64% also took on the administrative burden of dealing with the death, including organising the funeral (44%), registering the death (36%), clearing or selling the home (33%), and closing accounts (30%).
What do people miss most when someone dies?
According to the Human Cost of Dying Report, 57% of people said they missed the person's presence most, 31% missed their voice, 26% missed their advice and wisdom, 25% missed their smile, 25% missed their emotional support, and 22% missed their laugh. The most missed aspects were non-material: simply being there, the sound of their voice, and their perspective on life.
What is the most valuable thing someone can leave behind when they die?
74% of respondents said the best gift the person who died had left them was something with no monetary value. The most common answers were memories, photographs, and letters. 86% of people who had been left something said it helped them process their grief. When asked what they wished they had more of, 44% said photographs, 16% said video, and 10% said a handwritten note.
How many people have planned for their own death?
39% of all respondents had not put any thought into their plan for when they die. This rises to 61% among those who have never experienced the death of someone close, suggesting that personal experience of loss motivates planning. Of those who hadn't planned, 34% said nothing in particular was holding them back. Among those who have planned, the most common steps are writing a will (43%) and sharing funeral wishes (37%), but only 15% have left notes or messages and just 8% have made video or voice recordings.
Who do people find most and least helpful after a death?
Friends were rated the most helpful at 84%, followed closely by family at 83%, the Registry Office at 76%, and healthcare professionals at 71%. HMRC and other government agencies were voted the least helpful at just 58% helpful (42% unhelpful), followed by utility providers (60% helpful), the Probate Office (61%), banks (65%), and lawyers and solicitors (67%).
What were the hardest parts of losing someone?
55% of respondents said dealing with grief was the hardest part of losing someone. This was followed by planning the funeral (27%), dealing with physical symptoms like not sleeping or eating (20%), managing the administrative process (16%), navigating socialising (16%), mental health implications (14%), financial worries (12%), managing work (12%), and fulfilling care obligations (9%).
How can I use the findings from the Human Cost of Dying Report?
The report is freely available for download and citation. When referencing the data, please cite: Octopus Legacy (2024). The Human Cost of Dying Report. The research was conducted by Censuswide, surveying 2,000 nationally representative UK adults between 11 and 15 October 2024. The findings can be used in academic research, media reporting, policy discussions, and bereavement service planning.
